The vogue of a particular time is constantly changing. Oscar Wilde once said, “Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.” Hence, looks and clothes may alter depending on the age, but the quality of attractiveness always remains the same. Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but the beholder tends to change his opinion of what’s hot and what’s not as time progresses. However, there are some people who remain attractive regardless of what society deems to be enticing.
This is largely due to the behaviour of individuals. It’s known the world over that a sense of humour is the most important factor in being considered appealing. In this piece, we explore six attractive behaviours and how you can go about changing your own to suit them – regardless of how you look and what you’re wearing. Even if you’re not trying to woo a partner, these behaviours tend to make one happier and more self-content.
1. Being A Good Listener
By sexists the world over, it is often said that what men lack is the ability to listen. When a woman is telling you about her problems, she wants someone to listen, not solve her issues. Or so it is said. Having said that, not listening to the other person seems to be equally divided as a problem across gender. Listening to someone forms strong bonds, making them feel valued and important. It is the easiest way to form connections. Counterintuitively, the way to form new friendships is not to be the one who talks the most but the one who talks the least.
Luke 6:31 mandates, “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” This is not far from suggesting that you be kind to everyone in your life. After all, who doesn’t want to be treated nicely? It is said that people pick up vibes from others and those that radiate positivity with their kindness are likely to be more magnetic than those who are pessimistic and self-centred. Furthermore, altruism can make you feel better about yourself, getting you out of those doldrums that all of us tend to experience occasionally.
Smiling releases endorphins (1). Endorphins are chemicals in the brain that tend to reduce pain and produce euphoric feelings like their fellow opioids. It makes all the difference between a bad day and a day that’s not so bad. It’s a pretty basic behaviour but can produce wonders in terms of reaction amongst those surrounding you. You tend to feel more attractive and, hence, you do come off as so. A positive vibe is infectious and often, smiling can lead to cause others to smile as well.
Sean O’Casey is quoted as saying, “Laughter is wine for the soul – laughter soft, or loud and deep, tinged through with seriousness – the hilarious declaration made by man that life is worth living.” Laughter goes hand in hand with smiling. It’s equally contagious. Laughter therapy is known to improve the immune system, aid digestion, and give rise to better sleep as well as better pain management (2).
Laughter, just like smiling, releases endorphins. Once you feel better about yourself, it easily shows to other people, hence making you more attractive. Besides, the most often quoted lovable quality in a mate is known to be a sense of humour. If you make your partner laugh, then it’s likely to increase interest in you even more than you would otherwise (3).
Confidence is a sign of being comfortable with yourself. It shows people that you like yourself, paving the way for other people to like you. Confidence, much like a sense of humour, ranks high on the list of the most attractive qualities.
Confidence is indeed, sexy (4). Your allure increases with how sure you are about yourself. An image of self-loathing is always off-putting. Self-confidence also tends to be contagious – it makes other people feel confident about themselves as well.
6. Understanding Nonverbal Cues
Listening has already been established as a must-have quality. But this only includes verbal communication. It is equally important to pay attention to what people aren’t saying and what they show with their body language. Reading nonverbal cues could mean giving someone what they need before they ask for it. It stems from a place of empathy. This brings about long-term relationships as well as healthy and positive interactions.
Everyone wants to be attractive and most people attribute attraction towards looks. We hope that you now see behaviour is just as important, if not more important, than how you are on the outside. Charm comes from the way one acts, not how one looks. These six tips will take you a long way to becoming an endearing piece of work.